September 5, 2007
I’ve always been told to follow my heart. I’m sure everyone else has heard the same phrase sometime throughout their lifetime. However, the question is, does your heart always know what is practical.
The thing is I’m finally done with Ken. I sent him an e-mail and of course he played his power games again and tried to blame me for the second running of the circle we hate to love so much. He tried to pin this heartache on me once again and I couldn’t deal with it. It was pathetic of me to even accept his apology in the first place and it would have been pathetic of me to let him blame it on me. So it’s over. But honestly, I forced myself to go beyond what I was feeling in order to send him the e-mail and tell him how I felt. I fought so hard against my heart and went with my head instead because I knew protecting myself would be the right thing.
Why doesn’t your heart know what is most practical? Don’t you think it should know? I think it should at least. Your brain and heart put together would be the powerhouse of the century when it came to resisting scum and getting over the thing that brought you down. It would be a tour de force of the soul.
If your heart and brain were a team there would definitely be less self-esteem issues to deal with and fewer problems that plague the soul. It would guarantee happiness; and honestly, maybe that is what we all need.
Today I felt so much better about everything. I knew I had made the right decision. I had let go of my “Mr. Big”. I was finally thinking about myself and taking care of myself. I was ready for a positive change. I had let myself fall into his trap one time too many and now I’m ready for him to miss out on the person that was worth a whole lot more than he will ever get the chance to know...BECAUSE HE’S WEAK.
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