The Rain is a Second Chance

Written on August 27, 2007

So today I got to thinking about second chances as it poured down on my car on the way to class this morning. It was my first day of Nursing School and instead of taking the rain as an omen; I took it as a sign of rebirth. The rain is said to wash away and replenish. Maybe this rain on my way to class was washing away my fears and my prior mishaps in class and in life. Maybe the rain was bringing me good fortune for the time that was ahead of me. I mean we all have to let go at some point and maybe the rain was a way for me to let go of the past that haunted me and a chance for me to start anew and do great this term in all of the aspects of my life.

I gave Ken a second chance and here I am. I mean, I’m not completely heartbroken, but I am rather bothered by the fact that I actually took the means to make myself give him a second chance. Rather, let myself give him a second chance. I thought that in doing so, accepting his apology that is; we would start a great friendship and actually maybe bond and have that grow into something in the future.

Of course that was wishful thinking. As soon as his ex-boyfriend of a year and some cheating got back together or reconciled for a second, I was out of the picture once again. His second chance was gone and I’m 100% sure that there will one day be a third chance that is sought after by Mr. Ken.

But the thing is… there is a drought in sight. I am tired of giving so much of myself. I have learned that sometimes it is not worth it. Even when it comes to close friends that you call family or people that you loved in the past. Maybe second chances should be reserved for those who truly fight for it and want it. He didn’t fight. He let go.

I fought this summer against all odds. I want a new fresh start and I was given that. The rain washed away the first chance at college. Now I’m starting the second half with a clean slate. I shouldn’t make the mistakes I made the first half. I should learn from them. I’ll let them wash away and clear them from my memory… but the second chance I have, I will keep.