High School

Written on August 28, 2007

High school was fun while it lasted. The thing is though, it’s over. We’re adults now and people should start acting their age.

I was visiting my friend Ashley today when she came up to me and gave me a hug and explained to me why she had been upset with me for the past few days. The thing is I didn’t really mind that she was upset with me. She had all the right to be upset with me. What upset me was the fact that someone who I hadn’t told told her about Ken and the sleepover episode. She didn’t tell me who told her, but she told me I would be blown away if I knew who told her.

I know who it was, jealous-cheating-current boyfriend of Mr. Ken, Mr. fake Hispanic-who-wishes-he-was-me-Z.

I am twenty. Pushing twenty one really and I sometimes definitely feel that I act older than most twenty two year olds out there. When a secret is confided to me, I keep it. I have my dignity instilled in me and it is completely intact; even though I have had plenty of mishaps. I have learned and grown from them.

The thing is… friends are people who should support you. I love my friends with all my heart, but I feel that I am constantly reminded of how stupid I am for what I do on a daily basis. I know I need to make better decisions and I know I need to start being wiser when it comes to dating guys. But let me fuck up. Ken is the biggest fuck-up I have ever made and it is not even that serious. I am in college now. Not in high school. In high school you can’t make mistakes because you get expelled and aren’t allowed back. You have to go to a different school and start over. But I am in college. I can change majors if I fail a required class in another. Surely, that will prolong my time in college, but I can start fresh with prior knowledge of what I did before. I can change and be better the next time around.

I am twenty. I have messed up twenty years in a row. I can afford messing up again. I am resilient.